When I think of useful things to do here, in my house, I find that I am thinking not of doing, but of going out to buy.

Each thing that I think of, on its own is indeed useful. But I can't help but notice that there IS NO END TO IT! There is a part of my brain that knows that not every problem is best addressed with a purchase. But it's a distant, hazy part of my brain.

When my Grand Plan for Effective Action is weakened in this way, with the little observation that I probably don't realllllly need to shop, my resolve dissolves. I find myself at the computer instead, thinking I really ought to be baking cookies.

I'm now preparing to do neither of those things. Oh, wait, yes, here I am at the computer. But. That's because the file drawer containing copies of our paid bills is right here, to my left. I'm going to look in that drawer and face this head-on. I'm going to look at our credit card bill for June. Since I spent plenty of money solving our problems that month, I'm going to see just what I spent it on and how could it possibly be that we still have problems.

I haven't looked yet. But I'm about to. Also I'm thinking it would be useful and fun to wash the minivan. Be not surprise that the instant corollary to that thought is, "we'll go buy buckets and sponges and ..." oops, stop.

Okay. Here I go. Into the file drawer. Drum roll please.

Long pause. Heavy sigh.

June is the month during which I held the thought "let's keep our balance low" in the brightly lit marquis area of my mind. I seems to have made nary a dent. Although I fear that when we get the July bill, the month during which I held the thought, "we're having a party, we just have to spend it," I will see a true difference. The prospect of this difference is woeful. Woe indeed.

Okay, so. The nitty-gritty. I see pet-related expenses to the tune of: (I know this computer must have a calculator...lemmeesee....) $52.29 What a sweet font the numbers appear in how charming. Yes, by alllllll means let's have a lengthy font distraction. No. Moving on.
I see fuel expenses a la: $75.75
Food. Here's the kicker. oh hey, there's a ten-key adding maching right here on the desk. I don't have to waste my time clicking on this calculator "accessory" --  $895.56 we buy organic.
Vitamins and supplements $371.43
Broadband $39.95
Kidstuff $113.95

That vitamin bill is stupid-looking. Some of that is supplies that will last for months. But it does seem like every month we need something else that will last for months. Maybe we should stop taking these.

Food wise. Hmmm. We're committed, I think, to the organic, sustainable model. It's just so much better for us and everyone in the whole world. How is that not a bargain at any price? But even if it means that we pay $35.72 finance charges because we've spent so much we can't pay our previous month's bill? A question for the ages.

This really dreads me July's bill. Ow. And, like I said, even with all that spending, it didn't solve all of our problems. I didn't prevent cat Gus from being taken to the pound, catching a cold, and coming home and giving it to both our other cats. Everybody had to go to the vet for that. That's gonna show up big. And they need to go back too, cat Oprah and Cat Maybeck.

Then there's that party. Little girl's 9th party, delayed by 8 months. Can't scrimp. I don't even want to talk about that. It was a fine party in any case.

Then there're more of those stoooopid supplements. Ow.

And groceries groceries groceries.

I'm going to do laundry and garden. And light up that marquis: Let's Go Low in August!!