Friday, December 12, 2008

What makes me want to chime in? Why can't I shut up?

Again, I'm provoked to comment. Comments are so useless. I really appreciate it when blogs have no comments field because who the hell reads them and I don't seem to have the will power to just "let it go." This time it was some parenting blog at the NYTimes talking about that movie "Orgasmic Birth."

I am astounded, amazed, dismayed even, by the number of commenters who feel that their own birth experience qualifies them as authorities on what other women's experience could possibly be. Some of these commenters haven't even given birth, they've only observed it. I don't care if you've had 12 kids -- 17! You're still only one woman and you can't know what's it like for anyone else. We're not all exactly the same. Everyone responds differently. Sheesh, how many people do you know who are tender-headed, vs others who can have their hair yanked with a brush and not complain? How many people do you know who love cilantro? And how many hate it? And yet you think that birth is going to be a uniform experience? BIRTH??

It's also interesting to see how vehement the commenters are who feel that birth = pain. "It hurt me and you'd better believe it's going to hurt you too!!" Maybe it will hurt you, I hope it doesn't. Mine didn't hurt. It was long, hard work, and it wasn't comfortable, but it never hurt. I don't know if the fact that I went into it open to the idea that it didn't have to hurt contributed to that or not. I did, now that you mention it, have an experience at transition that was very similar to an orgasm. My husband had nothing to do with it -- I was in the "don't touch me, I'm working" camp of laboring mothers.

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