Time After Time

There are so many many instances in a life where you think, oh, that was close, I coulda died, but you didn't. Or where you are sick and wonder if this could be it, but it's not. Or think those things about a loved one. Or all of your loved ones.

Maybe it is for ths reason, the numerical disparity, that when you lose someone finally, for real, it comes as a shock. No matter how much it makes sense if you think about it and stop and add up all the signs. It's still a shock to realize that death is the end result.

Even though it's the universal End Result, it is still a shock when you come to it.

I imagine that coming to one's own end result will be equally shocking. I have no way of knowing. Maybe anything irreversible is jarring when you come up against it. Intellectually knowing and truly Knowing are not the same. Why do we even have to use the same word for these different things?

A proper poet would know the way to express this.